WANTED: MOM…Apply Within

WANTED: MOM…Apply Within

By: Caroline Simpson

Job Title: Mother.

Requirements: must be willing to work overtime for no additional compensation.

Necessary Skills: patience, fortitude, and super-human ability to multitask.

Salary: none but must be able to provide monthly (at least) payments to clients.

Travel: yes – lots.

Benefits: bedtime and the one day a year that it is all about you!

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!  If I was in charge, I would recommend you for a promotion and a raise, your service over the years has been remarkable.  However, since I do not play the CEO role in this family, I will take this opportunity to honor you by giving you an inside look at my new plans for this holiday.

In all seriousness, Mother’s Day is an important holiday.  Allow me to provide a bit of the history for you.  The tradition dates back as far as the Greek Empire and their Annual Spring Festival; various religions and spiritual groups dedicated a specific day in May to celebrate the Mother Mary, Mother Earth, the Mother of All Deities, etc.  England expanded this honor to not just religious mother figures, but to all mothers, and the United States made it the celebration it is today about 150 years ago, when Anna Jarvis, mother and homemaker, decided that there were days for men and days for children, but there just was not a single day devoted to mothers alone.

Anna would be proud.  Today, Mother’s Day results in the highest volume of telephone traffic over any other day of the year, restaurants are more crowded on this second Sunday in May than any other holiday, and, of course, Hallmark card sales increase dramatically.

Well, this Mother’s Day, I want to do more than just buy a card.  I know that nothing says thank you like a folded piece of card stock with a poem and some pastel colored flowers on it, but you deserve more than that.  This year, I am going to make a revolutionary recommendation to extend Mother’s Day to not just the second Sunday in May but for it to replace several other holidays so as to extend the focus on the value of mothers. 

Before you question my logic, take a look at the following list of holidays that I feel no one would really miss: (they all really are considered holidays according to the Earth Calendar’s website – http://www.earthcaledar.net.)

Trivia Day (because moms know everything.)

Maintenance Day (because moms fix everything.)

Groundhog Day (because Punxsutawney Phil won’t last forever!)

Random Acts of Kindness Day (no explanation needed.)

Pi Day (as in 3.14…think about all that help we had with our math homework.)

Father’s Day (come on dad, take one for the team!)

Cross Atlantic Communication Day (because there are times when a mother’s voice can travel that far…like when dinner is ready or your bed is not made.)

National Hot Dog Day (hmmm – why do we have a National Hot Dog Day in the first place?)

Talk like a Pirate Day (too funny to leave this one off the list!)

Poinsettia Day (because moms can keep them alive for months!)

It is clear that these are holidays that may be better served if they became the ten new additional Mother’s Days.  Why should you settle for just one day?  There are 365 days and if you do the math, eleven total holidays increase the average to…I’m not sure; you always helped me with the math.  Anyway, they are kind of like vacation days; think of it as a perk or as part of your benefit package.  It is worth some consideration, and you are worth it!

Comments and suggestions are welcome, just not to whoever plays the role of HR.  I would not want to hear from any offended Pirates or Groundhogs.

Happy Mother’s Day(s!)

Although it is one of her favorite things to do, Caroline doesn’t have much time for writing these days. Her hobbies include changing diapers, cutting up food into choke-free bits, trying to outwit her 5 year old, and keeping her 1 year old free from severe injuries. This article was written prior to motherhood for her; as a mom of two little ones now, she fully supports the idea of increasing the number of mother-focused holidays. She’d also like to talk to HR about updating the job description and adding some mental health days to the benefit package. 

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