XXL and I recently passed the six month anniversary of our wedding—halfway through the first year, which, I’m told, is the toughest. Funny—I thought all those years on Match.com were the toughest. Assuming for most couples it’s because you’re faced with working through the grown up stuff like taxes, budgets and whose coffee mugs make it into the cabinet vs. the toss pile. The coffee mug challenge has likely rattled many a union. About three months into shacking up, XXL and I had a rather lively discussion over storage containers that was about 2 decibels away from becoming a domestic situation. I never realized how passionate a man could be over Tupperware. Being a grown up is highly overrated on so many levels. XXL scores more grown up points than yours truly, however, as he has a prior marriage under his belt. He’s experienced, whereas I, on the other hand, am a total rookie. I’m not going to sugar coat it for you. Marriage is a wonderful, beautiful thing, but if you’re like me—a woman who spent a few decades perfecting her solo act—it can be challenging. Typically when I’m confronted with a challenge or embarking on some endeavor where my frame of reference is limited, I head to see my friends at Barnes & Noble. On my path to personal exploration, as well as finding a suitable partner, I was a B&N frequent flyer, often consulting with trusted advisors such as Elizabeth Lesser, Eckhart Tolle, Martha Beck, Ram Dass, Julia Cameron, Pema Chodron, Anne Lamott, Thich Nhat Hanh and a few others on a wealth of subjects. I literally grew up with them. I spent so much time with them I should have probably invited them to the wedding. Over the years I’ve welcomed them into my home where…
Twas the night before Christmas and all through Tysons Corner mall People were rushing about for last minute gifts–Frozen Elsa dolls, iPads or even a duck call They ignored Black Friday sales and Cyber Monday deals you can be certain Now all that’s left on the shelves is an Uncle Si chia pet and Dukes of Hazard shower curtain Gift list? Check. Photo selected for Snapfish holiday card? Check. Red and green sprinkles purchased for company cookie swap? Check. Boxes dropped off at USPS to arrive NLT December 23 to Dad in Florida? Check. Look into availability at premiere rehab center for post-holiday melt down?…My mind started going into holiday paralysis right around November 15 and interestingly enough that’s about the same time that the sugar/carb war within my body began. It’s not because I was already overcommitting (aka feeling overwhelmed), but rather because I’ve been traumatized by the Ghost of Christmas Past. My ghost shows up in the form of me at about age 35—a slightly more youthful, thinner version. She began her nightly visitations right around Halloween—which coincides with when retailers start putting out the Christmas stuff and WKXM starts playing carols. She starts off very sweetly—“let’s get a head start this year. Let’s not wait until the last minute like last year. Remember last year, right? Remember when you pulled an all-nighter wrapping presents and forgot to get your Dad a gift?” Anyhow—she starts whispering helpful tips like “you should make a list” and “you should start exercising more so you have more energy around the holidays—you don’t want to feel wiped out and ancient again this year, do you?” I start frantically capturing notes on color coded post its and mentally making lists by category. By the time November rolls around, my ghost is making twice…