By Cheryl Burns

It was one of the most stressful periods of my life, and I’ve survived the bar exam, life in a big law firm, and several big moves. The details don’t really matter but, suffice it to say, every day took everything I had. I’d get home from work and rather than getting a snack or changing into gym clothes (okay, or pajamas), I’d simply collapse onto the couch, lying in a slightly extended fetal position with my arms wrapped around my own shoulders or belly. And within seconds, I’d feel a nudge.

Like most cats, Sweet Potato Bailey Burns does not enjoy hugs—she loves some good lap time, relishes pets, and even tolerates being carried, but a hug gets a protesting yowl and an immediate attempt to break free.

And yet…

When I needed comfort the most, there she was. Instead of wriggling free, she wriggled her way into my arms and purred her little heart out. If she could speak, I’d swear she was saying, “It’s alright Momma. Sweet P is here.”

It wasn’t all that surprising. She was a “comfort kitty” from day one. She’d graced many a lap during her relatively brief stay at King Street Cats (when she simply went by Bailey), a no-kill, free-roam, all-volunteer shelter in Alexandria, Virginia, making sure visitors felt welcome. She’d chatter on about the events of her day while volunteers did their work. Later, in the early days in her forever home, she’d often sit on the lap of one human and spot the other across the room. Her muscles would tighten, seemingly with a sense of responsibility, and she’d leap to provide love to the person who was lacking a kitty companion. A few minutes later, she’d spot the first person’s empty lap and rush back. “Momma needs a kitten!!!”

And no one else saw it, but I swear the late, great Smoky Tiggs once did a little jig on her hind legs just to make my tears turn to laughter. She was the prim and proper princess, but she still took care of her people. She knew who needed her and when. Smoky saved me, but that’s a longer story.

They Know, and They Respond

When it comes to sensing their people’s stress, dogs tend to get all the credit, but our feline friends deserve some recognition too. In a veterinarian-approved article, the folks at Catster note that cats can sense both depression and anxiety. They cite several scientific studies including a report from a group of Italian researchers who conducted a study, concluding that cats use a range of visual and auditory stimuli to understand the emotions of humans and their fellow felines.

And not only do they know what we’re feeling, they adapt. The Italian researchers put this in appropriately formal terms: “they appear to modulate their behavior according to the valence of the emotion perceived.” The simply named Cats.com takes a more informal approach, noting that cats may recognize when their people feel sad or anxious and adjust their behavior accordingly. Cats may respond by showing affection or trying to share comforting pheromones by rubbing against the person.

It’s worth noting, however, as Cats.com reminds readers, that sometimes cats respond to stress by becoming stressed themselves, so do keep an eye on them too. I can tell you that the closest we came to an all-out-catfight between our two felines was on a call about the same source of stress that turned Sweet P into a hug-machine. And it happened twice, two separate calls about the same topic. They knew. They felt it. While it wasn’t quite the same, feeling called to comfort them did distract me from my own stress.

A Note on That Purr

Sweet Potato is known for a power purr, and never does it manifest as strongly as when she’s in “comfort kitten” mode. I suspect she knows what scientists have found. As the Hand & Wrist Institute reports—and as most cat people would probably attest—the  low-frequency vibrations of a cat’s purr can calm and relax their humans. It even reduces blood pressure and may lower the risk of a heart attack!

But, Why?

I suppose this all makes evolutionary sense. After all, while humans worked to domesticate the wolf into the dog we know today, the generally accepted view is that cats domesticated themselves. They didn’t actually change much physically, Sweet P and Smoky Tiggs bear much in common with their wilder sisters, but they realized people were useful, and they made friends. It’s to their benefit to keep us attached to them, it keeps the food coming and the shelter warm.

But, still, I’ll choose to believe that cats know they are loved and love us back. No one will convince me—or the kitty tucked in my lap—otherwise.

About the Author – Cheryl Burns is a legal editor who is convinced her cats adopted her, not the other way around. The pretty kitty pictured is her furry companion, Sweet Potato Bailey Burns.

Sources:

Dr. John Knight, “Is a Cat’s Purr Actually Helpful to our Bones?” Hand & Wrist Institute.

Misty Layne, “Can Cats Sense Anxiety & Depression? Vet-Approved Science & Info,” Catster (Feb. 25, 2025)

Angelo Quaranta, Serenella d’Ingeo, Rosaria Amoruso, and Marcello Siniscalchi, “Emotion Recognition in Cats,” Animals (June 28, 2020).

Dr. Lizzie Youens, “Can Cats Sense Anxiety and Depression in Their Owners?” Cats.com (June 7, 2024)