Girl Gone Bad

By Lori Welch Brown

Girl Gone Bad

Life is about making good decisions every day. I know this to be true, yet when faced with options, I typically tend to lean toward the one with the most calories and/or the one that will make me feel the absolute worst. Carrots or chips? Chips! Sparkling water or wine? Wine! French fries or side salad? Duh! One cookie or the rest of the sleeve? When I was single, that was my M.O. with dating also, btw. Nice accountant or unemployed biker? Biker! When, oh when, will I learn to make better decisions?! When I’m grown up? In my head, I’m still 22 and have my whole life in front of me to make better decisions and achieve my dream of looking like a Victoria’s Secret model. There’s plenty of time for being fit and healthy—right after I eat this cake and ice cream! Or maybe I’m just a natural-born procrastinator—I live for next Monday to start diets, work out programs, daily meditation practices, cleanses, etc. Wanna give up sugar? Sure thing—let’s start next Monday!

Another August is bearing down on us which means another summer is about to fly the coop—a summer that was not my ideal bathing suit year despite my promise to God that it would be. I’ve been making this same promise to myself and God since the summer of 1983. “God—I promise if this bathing suit fits, I’ll give up carbs next Monday.” See, next Monday. This particular summer started off strong. I joined Weight Watchers and signed up for tennis lessons. Go, me! The wheels started to fall off the wagon right around the 4th of July and it’s been a carb fest ever since. Lock up your chips and cookies, people!  Now I’m hot and cranky and puffy from margarita salt, and when faced with decisions, they’re going from bad to worse. Biking or kayaking? How about a Real Housewives marathon and wine at my house? Hike in the mountains? How about we meet for coffee at that cute little air-conditioned crepe place instead? Salad for dinner? Sounds delish, but whaddya say we fire up the griddle and make some pimento grilled cheese sandwiches with fried tomatoes and bacon?

Granted—I don’t need to lose a ton of weight. It’s not about the weight. It’s about sticking to something. Being disciplined. Being grown up. Making wise, healthy choices that make me feel good. Setting goals and achieving them—and I’m not just talking about making it through all seasons of The Affair by Labor Day. Good decisions are like a whirling dervish in my head on Sunday nights (after a wine-riddled, ice cream filled weekend). Sometimes the angel of good decisions even manages to stick around ’til Monday or on a good week, even Tuesday.

Monday

6:00 AM Wake Up

6:10 AM Drink hot lemon water to kick start digestive system

6:20 AM Meditation practice

6:45 AM Green smoothie breakfast (Kale, spirulina, chia seeds, hemp seeds, whey,

wheatgrass, spinach)

7:00 AM Daily gratitude journaling

7:30 AM Cardio boxing class

9:00 AM Power walk w/the girls

10:00 AM Volunteer at local no-kill shelter

12:00 PM Arugula salad with quinoa

1:00 PM Flow yoga

2:00 PM Rice cake snack

3:30 PM Afternoon decaf chamomile tea with cinnamon stick (treat!)

5:00 PM Evening meditation

6:00 PM Vegan plant-based burger w/mung beans & Gluten-free bun

Tuesday

7:00 AM Meditation (interrupted by dog barking at squirrel)

7:30 AM Coffee (out of lemons)

8:30 AM Change out of PJs

9:00 AM Cruise Instagram for some fitness motivation

9:30 AM Head to gym (someone on my bike so stretch for 15 mins)

9:45 AM Meet friend at Starbucks

10:30 AM Get manicure (trying to be efficient—it’s next to Sbux)

11:30 AM Grab a filet o’fish from McD’s (next to nail place and trying to eat more fish)

12:00 PM Grab some fresh veggies and fruit from Whole Foods

4:00 PM Meet friends for happy hour to celebrate Jane’s 50th! (Prosecco is so light & summery!)

Wednesday

8:30 AM Leftover birthday cake for breakfast

You get the point. #bestofintentions #dietfail #backtothedrawingboard

Summer brings us a harvest of options by way of festivals, fairs, wineries. block parties, family reunions, picnics. pool parties, boat rides, etc. It’s overwhelming. What to do? Maybe I’ll just lie here, watch another episode of The Affair and think about it.

Sunblock, anyone? Baby steps, people. One good decision a day. Make it a healthy one.

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