By Timothy Long
I almost wrote this article about Dry January, i.e., the healthy trend of not drinking for the entire month of January. It goes along with the new diet you just started and the gym membership you just bought. All three of which will end well before January does. Except the gym membership, you’ll keep paying for that for a while. I was going to tie Dry January in with the non-alcoholic craft beer trend that has grown over the last few years. Non-alcoholic craft beer sales have trended upwards and Dry January has increased in popularity. Therefore, it could be a legitimate subject for an article. Then I asked myself, “Would my readers like an article about non-alcoholic beer and not drinking for a month?” I immediately knew the answer and couldn’t stop laughing at myself for two days. I thought my wife was going to have me committed. What the hell was I thinking? Dry January? I don’t want to write about it, and no one wants to read about it. Anyone who reads this column knows my opinion of non-alcoholic beer. It’s for people who just want to smell like they’re drunk.
I prefer Wet January. Let’s face it, January in our area sucks. It is a month that truly is in the doldrums. The actual doldrums are bands of hot, windless, humid weather near the equator that could stall sailing ships for weeks. Sailors dreaded hitting them. The term describes January in the DC area perfectly. Except for playoff football, it is dull, boring, dank, and sad. So, the solution is to not drink? Are you kidding me?
I also feel that Dry January is un-American. Think about it. As a culture, we, those of us who do drink, drink for every reason we can. We drink when we get married. We drink when we get divorced. We drink when we get a new job. We drink when we get fired. We drink when the new baby is born. And we drink when grandpa dies. We drink to celebrate or mourn every event in our lives. So, are we going to abstain during the worst month of the year? I think not.
Wet January is a good thing. Now, I do admit that it’s not as physically healthy as Dry January. There are positive effects that come from taking a one-month break from drinking. But during this putrid month, we need mental benefits as well. We need some joy. We need some fun. We need the social benefits of comradery. And these benefits come from Wet January.
Let me make something perfectly clear, I’m not talking about getting drunk every day. That is never a good plan. Drink is meant to be enjoyed, not abused. I’m talking about planning some fun activities that include drinking to get you through the doldrums. Not drinking to a point that you can’t function the next day. Hangovers are not fun and can easily ruin an entire day. The great author, Kingsley Amis, once wrote the best description of a hangover I ever read. This is from his novel Lucky Jim.
“Dixon was alive again. Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way; not for him the slow, gracious wandering from the halls of sleep, but a summary, forcible ejection. He lay sprawled, too wicked to move, spewed up like a broken spider-crab on the tarry shingle of the morning. The light did him harm, but not as much as looking at things did; he resolved, having done it once, never to move his eyeballs again. A dusty thudding in his head made the scene before him beat like a pulse. His mouth has been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum. During the night, too, he’d somehow been on a cross-country run and then been expertly beaten up by the secret police. He felt bad.”
You do not want to go through that. You just want to kill the doldrums as best you can.
So, what do you do for Wet January? Last January I wrote about a brewery my wife and I had visited during a trip to Cabo. January is a great time to visit breweries. Most of them are probably releasing full-bodied beers, porters, stouts, and darker ales. Here are a few recommendations:
Port City Brewing has already released its Long Black Veil, a black IPA. This fun and creative beer is pitch black with a tan head. It has notes of coffee and dark chocolate, with a piney, citrusy hops.
If you’re a fan of oatmeal stout, Fairwinds Brewery has their Home Port Stout. You get coffee and cocoa on the nose, then a big hit of oats for the first taste. It has a wonderful creamy mouthfeel. This is a very good beer.
Denizens Brewing Company in Riverdale Park, MD in collaboration with Manor Hill Brewery in Ellicot City, MD is releasing Frosty the Cold IPA. They used lager yeast instead of ale yeast to be able to brew this IPA at a cooler temperature. It has a tangerine and candied fruit hop character with a piney finish. Denizens has also released Hike the Alps Dunkel, a ruby colored lager with a bready malt character and subtle nutty flavors. I have been a fan of their beers for a longtime.
A trip to Aslin Brewing in Alexandria is always fun. They have a great variety of beers. If you’re looking for a darker beer, the Full Basic Dark Czech Lager is a fantastic beer, as is their Virginia Beach Bourbon Barrel Aged Stout.
If you’re in the district, DC Brau is a personal favorite of mine. The Penn Quarter Porter is fantastic with its notes of chocolate and dry roasted finish. Also try their Wake Up In The Future 2019 or their Wake Up In The Future 2023 if you love a good Imperial Stout.
The fun thing about visiting breweries is that the list is endless nowadays. You have a huge variety to choose from when planning a visit. So, get out there and support our local heroes who are helping us to fight the doldrums. The brewers and staff members of these breweries are true heroes. They enrich our lives the old-fashioned way, through good drink. You don’t have to wear a cape to be a hero, you know. Some heroes wear t-shirts and baseball caps. And they make the world a better place by pouring great beer. They can get you through the doldrums. These heroes need to be thanked, or at least tipped. Cheers.
Tim’s Whiskey and Cigar Recommendations
Catoctin Creek Roundstone 92 Proof Rye Whiskey
This bottle was a gift and my first venture into Catoctin Creek Whiskey. I was thoroughly pleased. This is a smooth delightful whiskey. On the nose, I get warm spices, cinnamon, and allspice. I also caught the smell of apple, with some blackberry as well. It’s smooth on the palate. It’s not hot at all and rather earthy with hints of honey. More spice, and some chocolate, come through as you drink it. It finishes as smooth as it starts with some citrus and chocolate at the end. At around $50 a bottle, this whiskey is a definite keeper.
Nub Cameroon 460
First, I love Nubs. They are made by Oliva; they don’t make a bad cigar. I always suggest going with a 460, 4-inch, 60 gauge. These Nubs just seem to smoke better than the thinner or thicker ones. The Cameroon opens with black pepper and cedar. As you get further in, it becomes creamy with hints of leather, but the pepper and cedar linger. It finishes a little sweeter, with the same flavors being present throughout the smoke. At around $8 to $10 a stick, it is more than worth the value. The Nub 460 is a great doldrums cigar to go with you Catoctin Creek Roundstone Rye Whiskey. Enjoy.
This cigar, and many other fine cigars, are available at John Crouch Tobacconist at 215 King St. in Old Town Alexandria. Mention this article and get 10% off the purchase of this month’s recommended cigar.
About the Author: Timothy Long is an educator, writer, consultant, and experienced restaurant operator. Email: tlong@belmarinnovations.com. Instagram and Twitter: @wvutimmy. Blog: What is that fly doing in my soup? http://whatflyinmysoup.com