How’s Your Money Honey?

By Peggie Arvidson

How’s Your Money Honey?

“I tried to explain to my wife that she’s in a lack mindset when she heads for the bargain bins,” Lucy laments, describing the last time Sara asked, “how much did that cost?”

“I mean, she’s telling the Universe that she doesn’t deserve anything more than the cheapest stuff in her life, right?”

“When else does Sara look for the best prices?”

“She’s awesome at booking vacations at great deals, and when we were ready to buy a house she found the best rates for mortgages and insurance.” Lucy begins to smile

“How do you react when she does those things?”

“High fives and hugs! It’s amazing what she can do with that mindset.”

When her spouse is prudent on things that affect their household & quality of life she’s ecstatic, but when she asks about her own spending she gets prickly.

On the surface, buying whatever she wants at the organic grocery store makes Lucy feel like she’s nurturing herself, telling the Universe she deserves to be healthy. She feels that she should be able to do that without concern for budget so that the Universe hears her. Digging even deeper, we unearth the fact that Lucy goes over budget when she’s feeling put upon at work and at home.

If this happens once in a while, she and Sara are able to move on easily without resentment. However, the overspending has become a weekly habit and it’s driving them both crazy. Lucy gets nagged about the veggies going bad in the fridge and has heard more than once about the rising cost of college tuition. She thinks it’s ridiculous to imply that her grass-fed beef and non-GMO bulgur are taking away from their child’s college fund.

“I refuse to have a lack mentality. I know that if I act like there isn’t enough, the Universe will ensure my belief comes true. Besides I have a great sense of self-worth. I have no idea how I ended up with a spouse who has such a low money vibration,” says Lucy.

This is where money and spiritual “gurus” do a huge disservice. Spouting out sound bites without giving context so Lucy and others like her fill in the gaps with their own assumptions. Let’s break it down a bit and so we can clear up some of the money fears and fights that are happening in your household:

1) Establishing and working within a budget is not a “Lack mentality.” Money is an energetic tool to help you live with prosperity and abundance. Everyone benefits from boundaries in their lives – with people, with time, with money. Think of a budget as your boundary. You’re not telling the Universe you don’t deserve more when you create one and stick to it – in fact, you’re telling the Universe that you are an amazing steward of money, that you love money and you treat it with respect.

2) The more you respect money and are conscious of your consumption, the more you are rewarded. Spend money you have on what you want, as long as it works within your established boundary and plans. If you tell the Universe you want a bigger house in a year, but you spend money like you’re living in your post-college group house you’re not going to get that bigger house. Basic math. Honor it and be conscious and make choices that serve your goals. If that means one less case of kombucha this week, so be it.

3) Love what your money gets you. Hard to imagine loving a new set of tires or water heater? There is something to love about being able to take care of those things without sweating. Safe transportation and clean water right at your tap are things that most of the world doesn’t have. I bet you can find something to love there.

4) If you find yourself constantly saying “no” to things you want and can easily afford without dipping into other areas of your budget, then maybe, you have some work to do around self-worth. Sticking to a budget and being an excellent administrator of your finances flashes a message, loud and clear, to the Universe that you are abundantly worthy. (Think about it, would you hire an investment advisor who seemed to try too hard to prove they had money?)

5) It’s never your partner’s story. Sara was receiving mixed messages from Lucy – on one hand she was a champion for finding great rates for trips and big purchases and on the other she was in the dog-house for layering her penchant for deals and savings onto Lucy.

In the end, Lucy and Sara had deeper discussions about what money meant to them individually and as a family unit and agreed upon language to use to ensure each of their needs, as well as their family’s needs were being met. That’s what it’s all about – team work and letting money serve as a tool.

P.S. These names and deets have been changed to allow my client privacy. Please send any comments to me at peggieparvidson@gmail.com.

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