By Peggie Arvidson
Is your lack of self-care affecting your profitability?
This month let’s talk about Self Care, shall we?
I’m in the business of helping people like you; connect with other people – primarily so that you can get paid for helping other people.
I’m adamant about the power of self-care in this process. I don’t believe we can ever help anyone else at a deep level if we’re not willing or able to honor ourselves with that same level of love, compassion and care, you know?
This is true even if you don’t work for yourself. Make sure your needs are met and provide care for yourself in order to have a successful and financially meaningful life.
Some of you know my story from success, to rock bottom, to where I am now. I’ve done some spying into my own psyche lately to see what was happening under the surface that contributed to those material highs and lows.
What I see is a direct correlation to how much I liked myself. Oh, I always knew what I was supposed to say and do from a self-talk and spiritual perspective. I went through motions like a good practitioner, but when things were really tough financially, I know that I carried the guilty belief that if I didn’t make money, I wasn’t worthy.
It’s interesting to note that I’ve always been very materially motivated. I got my first job, baby-sitting, when I was 11 or 12. I used some of my money to invest in a babysitter’s class through the American Red Cross, so that I would be the most sought after babysitter in my neighborhood. And I was. I just knew in my bones that having my own money was my ticket to calling my own shots.
This idea that freedom came with money popped into my head of my own accord. I am one of the lucky ones who had parents that went out of their way to provide what my siblings and I asked for whenever they could. They also took the time to let us know when our requests weren’t something that would happen – like that pony I wanted in my back yard! Still, they managed to find a way to send me to horse-back riding camp and lessons for most of my teenage years. So even though my requests were generally provided for, I still had a deep desire to earn my own money and call my own shots! (Maybe I was just born like that!?)
For the most part that concept worked. It motivated me to work hard, it called on my love of business and marketing and more often than not I made money. When I was earning good money I felt amazing about myself and those around me. I invested in good food, personal trainers, and other experiences that made me feel even better. I treated myself and those around me because it made me feel good.
Then something shifted.
It could have been my divorce, it could have been the relationship with an unstable man or it could have been that I’d missed so many lessons about finding my own worth without money that the shit finally hit the fan. I don’t know.
When I stopped making money I felt like I’d lost my identity! I didn’t know who I was or why anyone would possibly love me. I know I didn’t love myself much at all, despite being taught to repeat mantras and to find my own inner light. I was going through the motions but there was a deep disconnect between my inner and outer self.
I wasn’t caring for myself. I wasn’t listening to the inner voice that pleaded for some downtime and sunshine. I insisted on tweaking my website, paying other people for marketing “systems” and begging and pleading with God to let me get my groove back.
I got sick.
Very. Very. Sick.
I began a long road to recovery, realizing that I didn’t have to get sick. That being sick was the symptom of my long-term lack of self-care. Years of pushing myself to accomplish something in order to prove my worth to myself had allowed me to have the experience of distrusting myself so much that I was hospitalized.
It’s been 3 years since my last hospitalization and it’s taken nearly that long to clarify that the way to my financial and business wellness was directly connected to my choice to take action on my own behalf. In big and small ways I honor my needs for human connection, for downtime, for self-care.
Your story may be different.
However, if you’re waiting until you hit some goal outside of yourself before you start taking care of yourself, why wait?
I assure you, you are very worthy of success in love, in business, in family and in financial resources right this minute.